Yeah so this was a great week as a mission! So this previous week was the last week of the change and our mission had a goal of 90 baptisms and 2250 new investigators for the change (6 weeks is one change). Yeah our mission doesnt baptize a ton like other missions do but we are trying to change that here. But we ended this change with 90 baptisms (same as goal) and 2307 new investigators. President told us that the mission hasnt had this much success in years. Now we have a goal for 100 baptisms and 2400 news so we'll see how close we get this change.
Well as you all know I am staying here with Elder Lopez. I am just glad because I just love this area and im on my 3rd change here now!!! Its great and it also sucks!!! hahaha (not the area, just because it has been raining every single day this week and I hate rain as a missionary!) But things have been good here! You know that last change wasnt easy for me. I know that I shouldnt say anything bad (cause im a missionary) but ive had disobedient companions in the past and nothing has challenged me quite like this. Last change was great because Rosa, Andres, Tania, and Mikaela all got baptized and I love them so much and so it was soo great seeing them get baptized!!! But I knew that I was struggling a lot with my companion and I was struggling to be obedient and so I told my Mission President in my interview that I cared a lot about this area and that I wanted to stay here but I needed him to send me a younger missionary who wants to be obedient to be my companion. I shared with President a lot of things and I left that interview feeling very confident that President was going to send me a new companion but as I waited patiently Monday night I got the call that we would be staying together.
Well I couldnt believe that this was happening to me. I just remember being soo mad and saying things that I shouldnt have said and my companion as well (cause he didnt want to stay here). I remember praying and just asking God "why, why does this always happen to me?" All night I was just feeling like my president just didnt care about me and that I had no purpose here in the mission and that I should just give up trying to be obedient because my president doesnt want to help me. Well the next day was our p-day and I was acting like I completely gave up on life. Well I got on the computer to write my family and they told me some things that helped me quite a bit but when I started writing my weekly email to President it helped me to get some anger off my chest and I felt a lot better suddenly. I remember that I later got on MormonChannel.org and I downloaded a bunch of conference talks and that night I just started listening and it helped me a ton. I remember that afterwards I just got on my knees and prayed for a really long time and just really opened myself up to God and asked him to just help me to forgive my companion and to stop blaming all of this on him and my mission president. I realized that God did have a purpose for this and I just remember having this strong feeling that I needed to start taking responsibility for my actions. That I needed to start doing more personally to work harder and be obedient. I realize now that although we may not have a very obedient companionship that I can do everything myself personally to be more obedient. I also remembered something that my mission president told me in my last interview "you cant control the agency of your companion but you can control your own and do everything to be obedient on your side" and he also told me that "if your companion doesnt get up on time in the mornings and doesnt want to study that you dont have to let that affect you. You can still be obedient and know that God knows that you are being obedient and that He will bless you for that".
Well this has been helping me soo much actually. What I thought would have a negative impact on my life as a missionary has actually turned into a positive one. I dont think that at any other time of my mission have I kept my thoughts so focused on the mission. And Ive just felt so different now. I feel the spirit so much more now and I feel just so much more "rejuiced" you know? Its changing everything and I think that these next few weeks are going to change me so much. Another thing that I think helped me was asking for some advice from my MTC companion Elder Hemeyer. He started in this area and he's the one that found our investigators that we baptized. I asked him if he could give me some advice and if there was anything that he did in particular to find investigators and have success. He told me that there was no particular tool that was better than another. Like which of these: street contacts or door to door contacts or referrals was the best method to use. He told me that each person he found was found through a completely different method than the other. But he did tell me something important that I already started putting into practice which was: 1. being exactly obedient 2. praying to find investigators and for each person individually and 3. to do a second fast (the second Sunday of the month) specifically to be able to find new investigators. He told me that by praying and fasting that he and his companion experienced miracles and found in total 6 investigators that got baptized (2 that he baptized and the 4 that just recently got baptized). I know that God blesses those who are obedient and that He will bring about miracles in our lives or the lives in others through keeping his commandments. I can testify of that because I was here to witness the baptisms of Rosa, Andres, Tania and Mikaela and the missionaries found them because they were obedient and God brought about that huge miracle because not only were those 4 prepared to recieve the gospel but also because those 2 missionaries had also prepared themselves and God knew that He could trust them with that responsibility.
I know now that I am staying with my companion for a reason. I am learning a lot and progressing a lot on my own now. Not because I have an obedient companion to tell me what to do in order to be obedient but for the first time because I not only have a desire to be obedient but now I am ready to do it on my own and that by exercising my own agency to be obedient that I can grow and progress spiritually. I think thats why God wanted me to stay here with my companion for one more transfer. Because I needed to learn that and if I was with obedient companions my whole mission I would have never had to use my own agency to choose to be obedient but my companions would have just made sure I was being obedient. I cant wait to see what happens these coming weeks. I think this is going to change everything and that God will finally be able to trust me more and to mold me into the missionary that he wants me to be.
I love you all! I dont have any pictures, sorry. I hope you all have a good week and that you all stay safe!!! I get worried about you guys sometimes, haha.
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